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YOU WILL USE THIS THE STUDENT EXAMPLE TO GET AN IDEA OF WHAT YOU NEED TO DO WITH THE THESIS AND BODY PARAGRAPH TOPICS THAT I WAS WORKING ON IT, DON’T MAKE ANY CHANGES ON MY THESIS AND THE 4 POINTS THAT I’VE HIGHLIGHTED ABOVE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WRITE A TOPIC SENTENCE FOR NUMBER 2,3 AND 4-5 SENTENCES FOR EACH NUMBER 2 AND 3 THAT WILL TIE THE QUOTE BACK TO THE TOPIC SENTENCES, HOWEVER YOU WILL NEED TO WRITE 4-5 SENTENCES FOR NUMBER 4 THAT WILL TIE THE QUOTE BACK TO THE TOPIC SENTENCE.

THESIS: I agree with Preece’s overall evaluation that The Vampire Diaries
has so many repeating ideas that it would be easy for viewers to get lost
in the plot; however, she effectively persuades readers with the love story
and moral that the show continues to remain interesting despite its
faults.
BODY PARAGRAPH TOPICS
1) Repetition of ideas (running out of content and recycling from earlier seasons)
(TOPIC SENTENCE) Preece states that “So the love triangle itself was never the
issue, but the lengths to which the show went in order to leave it unresolved
bordered on the ridiculous after more than five seasons.” (4-5 SENTENCES
AFTER THE QUOTE THAT TIE THE QUOTE BACK TO THE TOPIC SENTENCE)
2) Viewers could get confused by the plot
(TOPIC SENTENCE) Preece further explains that “When you’re cycling through
plot at 10x the rate of an ordinary show, you’re only going to get two to three
really, really good seasons until things are recycled” so Viewers starts to get(45 SENTENCES AFTER THE QUOTE THAT TIE THE QUOTE BACK TO THE TOPIC
SENTENCE) confused
3) Preece identifies how the love story develops
TOPIC SENTENCE) Preece argues that “At this point, the pair were wellestablished and beloved characters apart from each other, and their romance felt
earned in a way other relationships later in the series run didn’t.” (4-5
SENTENCES AFTER THE QUOTE THAT TIE THE QUOTE BACK TO
THE TOPIC SENTENCE)
4) Preece reveals the show’s moral: being numb to the world leads one to miss out on both the good and
bad of life.
Another persuasive aspect of Preece’s writing that gets us to watch the show is the way she reveals the moral :
being numb to the world leads one to miss out on both the good and bad in life.
Preece argues that the show is using vampirism as a metaphor for numbing
depression and grief, demonstrating how sadness prevents (what?): “[T]he heartache
is just a byproduct of all the good things about being alive. Love, family, friendship, the chance
for redemption—by not feeling anything at all, you don’t just miss out on the bad stuff. That’s
the story The Vampire Diaries wanted to tell, and Elena’s arc demonstrated it beautifully.” (4-5
Sentences tying the quote back to the topic sentence and thesis)
Body Paragraph Outline: Basic Web
Research and Response Essay
•
•
•
Topic Sentence–Begin with a topic
sentence that supports your thesis and logically
leads into the quote you have chosen
o Remember that you are focusing on YOUR
agreement, disagreement, or somewhere in
between of the author’s assessment of the
cultural product being reviewed
1 Sentence–Make a smooth transition from your
topic sentence into a quote from the article that
clearly supports your topic sentence
o Begin with a Signal phrase (see Little
Seagull Handbook pp. 113-115 & They Say,
I Say pp. 40-41) leading into the quote from
the article that clearly supports your topic
sentence
o The quote should be focused on one
statement that the author makes about the
cultural product that you have a strong
feeling about (agreement, disagreement,
somewhere in between) and that helped to
lead you to your overall opinion of the
author’s analysis as expressed
in YOUR thesis
4 or 5 Sentences–Tie the quote back into the
topic sentence and into your Thesis Statement
o
Remember that this is where the analysis
is happening, so focus on analysis and
not on simple plot summary
Student Example Body Paragraph:
I agree with Orr’s main claim that the film
Annihilation lacks structure; however, he does not
give enough detail in his examples to convince people
who have not seen the movie that the movie is not
worth seeing. Orr states that “Apart from Portman’s
and Leigh’s characters, the rest of the cast is
sketched in the broadest of strokes.” He leaves out
the fact that the little information given about the main
characters is all basically the same information. There
is not a lot to distinguish the different characters’
personalities. They were all sad because of something
that happened in their life and decided that the best
way to cope was to go on a long journey that might
get them killed, making it very hard for anyone
watching the movie to connect with the characters.
Not to mention that half the time, the characters are
too busy brooding or arguing for the viewers to
develop any emotional connection with them. I believe
that if Orr had incorporated some of these examples,
he might have been able to show his readers why they
will likely never truly understand nor connect with the
characters in the movie.
Basic Web Research & Response
Concluding Paragraph Outline &
Student Example
•
Begin with a reminder of the title of the article,
the author’s name, the author’s main claim, the
author’s intended audience and apparent
purpose for writing the article
•
Remind your reader of your overall critique
(positive or negative) about the article
•
Summarize the main reason for how you came
to your overall conclusion about the article—
You should have explained this in detail in your
body paragraphs
•
Leave your readers with your final impression
concerning the article
Student Example:
In his article “Annihilation: A Beautiful Heap of
Nonsense,” Christopher Orr claims that the
movie Annihilation lacks structure and is extremely
confusing in hopes of convincing the people who
have not seen the movie that it is not worth
watching. I agree with Orr’s claim that the movie is too
confusing; however, I believe that he would have a
difficult time convincing his audience because he
does not give them enough details in his
examples. His examples are too vague to support his
claims well. Most fans of the video
game Annihilation will probably not be influenced by
Orr’s claims and end up watching the movie
themselves, and likely only then will they understand
the points he is trying to make in this article.
You will do this for the assignement that why you need to wok on the Body paragraph first
Basic Web Research & Response
Concluding Paragraph Outline &
Student Example
•
Begin with a reminder of the title of the article,
the author’s name, the author’s main claim, the
author’s intended audience and apparent
purpose for writing the article
•
Remind your reader of your overall critique
(positive or negative) about the article
•
Summarize the main reason for how you came
to your overall conclusion about the article—
You should have explained this in detail in your
body paragraphs
•
Leave your readers with your final impression
concerning the article
Student Example:
In his article “Annihilation: A Beautiful Heap of
Nonsense,” Christopher Orr claims that the
movie Annihilation lacks structure and is extremely
confusing in hopes of convincing the people who
have not seen the movie that it is not worth
watching. I agree with Orr’s claim that the movie is too
confusing; however, I believe that he would have a
difficult time convincing his audience because he
does not give them enough details in his
examples. His examples are too vague to support his
claims well. Most fans of the video
game Annihilation will probably not be influenced by
Orr’s claims and end up watching the movie
themselves, and likely only then will they understand
the points he is trying to make in this article.
You will do this for the assignement that why you need to wok on the Body paragraph first
This is the author’s main claim fo me
Caroline Preece’s main Purpose of the article is that the show has so many repeating and so many things
that already happening in the beginning of the show it would be easy to get lost in the previous events,
they ran out of content and had to keep recycling in the latter seasons, however the show is end up able
to manage this problem more often than not.
Don’t change anything .
1) Preece reveals the show’s moral: being numb to the world leads one to miss out on both the good and
bad of life.Another persuasive aspect of Preece’s writing that gets us to watch the show is the way she
reveals the moral:
being numb to the world leads one to miss out on both the good
and bad in life. Preece argues that the show is using vampirism as a metaphor
for numbing depression and grief, demonstrating how sadness prevents by
not feeling anything at all): “[T]he heartache is just a byproduct of all the good
things about being alive. Love, family, friendship, the chance for redemption—by not
feeling anything at all, you don’t just miss out on the bad stuff. That’s the story The
Vampire Diaries wanted to tell, and Elena’s arc demonstrated it beautifully.” (4-5
Sentences tying the quote back to the topic sentence and thesis)
Try to paraphrase the Highlighted sentence in yellow that is above to make it relevant to the idea of the
quote.

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